The gifts of blogging and not blogging

I’ve missed writing in my blog and I’ve missed the interaction I have with all of you over these last several weeks.

As this is my first year blogging, I entered my peak season at work (this fall) with little idea of how I was going to manage blogging and meeting my seasonal deadlines. Because the volume of my work comes in unpredictable spurts, I’d go through weeks of relative quiet disrupted by weeks of all-consuming demands. Of course, this doesn’t mean that I have been working 24/7. The problem is that I spend all my working hours reading and editing in front of a computer, and by the time I am through with each day my shoulders are so stiff and my brain so fried that I’m unable and often unwilling to get anywhere near my keyboard…

The forced hibernation thus pushed me into other activities. Over the past month, I’ve accomplished the following things:

  • I became clean. I mean I’ve miraculously developed an eye for clutter and dirt in my house and a sudden distaste for messiness. I can’t explain it except that, ever since I wrote my last blog post about how out of control I felt over my lack of organizational skills, I spent half of Thanksgiving scrubbing and decluttering our house. All I see now is dirt, dirt everywhere! And I can’t stand it.
  • I learned how to swim. I’d signed up for and completed an 8-week course. The weekend before the last class, I found myself swimming 2/3 the length of the pool, stopping when I had reached the deep end (I’m still too terrified to get near the 6′ end). Surprisingly, I’ve found that I now love being in the water whereas even three months ago I was so scared and overwhelmed by it. Swimming destresses me, and not enjoying too many other physical activities, I now have hope that I don’t have to ride into old age at risk for arthritis, heart disease, etc.
  • I’d developed a routine with Fred and helped him get over the hump of his first grade transition. While I was tearing my hair out in September not understanding why he couldn’t hang up his jacket or wash his hands without being asked, he now can do these regular tasks on his own about 85% of the time. All I needed was awareness and a simple routine set up for him. Literally overnight he had changed because I had changed.

As I was doing these things, I couldn’t help realizing how instrumental my blogging and your feedback were in helping me reach these goals. I’d literally blogged about each one of those issues, and it was after processing them through with you, my readers, that something snapped inside of me, making me want to do something and to make a change.

I admire those many mothers who are able and/or make an effort to blog regularly despite the chaos and demands of daily life. I am trying to figure out my own best way to incorporate my blog into my life. So far, I am grateful that it has been malleable enough to grow with me…indeed, it has been powerful enough to develop me in ways I have not expected.

8 thoughts on “The gifts of blogging and not blogging

  1. I was literally just thinking about you yesterday! Wondering if you had maybe stopped blogging. Glad to see you hadn’t forgotten about it. Congratulations on all the strides you are making. I wish I could say that blogging about not being able to exercise has helped me to exercise – it hasn’t. But hopefully once Anna is a little older I’ll be able to get back into it.

  2. Glad to hear your voice again! First of all, congrats (!!) on finishing your swim class! And second, I need to know about this how-to-get-a-kid-to-hang-up-his-coat routine. Post please? =>

  3. You are so right:

    blogging is so central to me having a space of my own, and retaining who I am.

    The key is to get a tough skin: to realize you can’t comment back and visit everyone back, and people will unfollow you if you are not able to reciprocate.

    It’s only blogging, right?

    Always enjoy the depth of your posts…thank you.

  4. Cecilia, it’s good to hear your voice (so to speak) again.

    I’ve been feeling the exact same way lately. Real life and real priorities always come first, and there is always the temptation to stop blogging altogether, but the experience just gives us something undefinable. Akin to friendship, but without any of the pressure. (I’m not explaining very clearly, so I’ll stop, but I feel like you will understand what I’m trying to say.)

    I’m so happy you have had a productive break and have accomplished so much!

  5. So glad to have you back Cecilia, and I’m secretly glad that we both took a hiatus together so I don’t feel like I’ve missed out on too much action 😉

    While I often cite the holidays as my reason for erratic blogging these days, I think a lot has to do with trying to reorganize my life in such a way that I don’t feel compelled or guilty for doing or not doing something, and that includes blogging. Sometimes, I just want to hang out with My Guy under the blanket on the couch and watch some TV without having to worry about keeping up with a blogging schedule. I don’t want to miss out on the chance to snuggle when we can and feel like it just because I feel obligated to my writing, and nothing kills joy faster than obligation and resentment.

    Hence, I’ve decided to just let go and go with the flow. It was difficult at first as I’m such a stickler for routine too. However, this new non-routine is working out well as I find myself living a little more outside of my head as opposed to the inside when I was writing so much and spending more time with my family or partner and doing more crafty things that make me happy (as in your case, taking up swimming). It’s a good feeling to finally find a good balance.

    Even though I do miss blogging regularly, especially my friends here, I’m grateful that the friends I did find here are the ones who will continue to come back and support me whether or not I post three times a week or a month. That’s what friendships are all about right? 🙂

  6. I also admire mothers who can continue blogging in spite of the chaos found in their real lives. I tried to be one of those mothers, but I couldn’t give the appearance of sanity amidst chaos.

    I enjoy reading your blog and getting to “know” you through your writings.

    I say just do what you can when it comes to blogging. I also work on a computer all day, so sometimes after a long day (and night), my blog is the last thing on earth I want to look at. I say this to say that you are not alone in your sentiments.

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